July 4th

Friday is our country’s birthday!  July 4th always makes me feel good.  I have great memories of this holiday.  Actually, it’s one of my favorites.  I love everything about it.  Even though I won’t be part of our coverage this year at Tempe Town Lake, I was a big part of it the last 4 years and I loved every minute of the day.  Even though it was always a very hot, long day (and technically I was working), I still really enjoyed myself because after all, no matter how you slice it………it’s the 4th OF JULY!!!!!!

I always think of music when the 4th comes along.  There are so many great songs that are associated with the day, and I enjoy all of them, but one artist sums up this holiday more than any other.  John Mellencamp.  July 4th just isn’t right unless you hear about 10 Mellencamp songs.  He “is” America to me.  Bruce Springsteen runs a close second for me on the 4th, but Mellencamp definitely takes the top spot.  How can you have a 4th of July without hearing “Pink Houses”?  I always think that John is having more fun than anybody else in the country on this holiday.  What a barbecue he must throw in Indiana!!!

My most memorable 4th of July had to be 1976.  The Bicentennial.  I was 10 years old.  What a party the country had that year!  Even to this day, I don’t remember a more spectacular fireworks display.  I remember waiting for “The Finale” and it certainly didn’t disappoint!!!

Here’s hoping you have a great July 4th and always remember, “Ain’t that America for you and me, ain’t that America, its something to see, ain’t that America, home of the free, little pink houses for you and me, for you and me.”

The Comedy Of Carlin

George Carlin died yesterday.  What a loss for the comedy world.  He was one of the most innovative, controversial, clever comedians of not only his time but all time.  I have so many great memories of listening to Carlin’s genius.  Most everyone knows about his most famous bit, “The 7 Words You Can’t Say On T.V”, but he had so much more, seemingly never-ending material.  Most of it dealt with our English language.  How we used it and how he would change it. 

I remember listening to one of his bits from the Merv Griffin show (or maybe it was the Mike Douglas show).  My older brother put a tape recorder next to the television set and we kept that tape for years.  It was so funny every time we listened to it.  I can still hear Carlin go on and on about how he would change words to make more sense.  Like changing “paper clips” to “metal clips” and the “fire department” to the “extinguishing department”.  How a “hernia” ought to be a “HIS-nia” and a “hysterectomy” ought to be a “HER-deractomy”.  He also didn’t understand the terms “jumbo-shrimp” and “non-stop flights”.  He also said we were wrong as a society to always say, “get on the plane”……Carlin said we should say “get in the plane”.  He said leave getting on airplanes to people like Evel Knievel.

So many comedians have used George Carlin’s work as inspiration and those comics are really mourning his loss today.  I only wish I could be at the funeral……..their eulogies will no doubt be hilarious!

Hold the Cucumbers!

This all started yesterday during our morning show.  Paul Horton was out at a sushi bar learning how the chefs there prepared their meals.  Since cucumbers seem to be such a main ingredient in sushi, I casually said during a commercial break how much I hate cucumbers.  Nicole was stunned.  She thinks cucumbers have no taste so she couldn’t understand how I felt that way.  Well, my taste-buds beg to differ.  Cucumbers have a “distinct” taste and I “despise” that “distinct” taste! 

I hate cucumbers so much that I won’t eat a salad if cucumbers were once in that salad.  I can taste them on the lettuce long after they were even there.  I’ve always felt this way…..just ask my mom.  I’ve often felt that I’m in the minority when it comes to my hatred of cucumbers.  Most people seem to like them…..I can’t even imagine that thought!!! 

I also hate dill pickles and zucchini.  Is there a connection?  I think so.  While I’m at it, I can’t stand squash, sweet potatoes and guacamole.  Though I’d much rather eat any of those than the dreaded cucumber.  It’s just a matter of personal taste, which brings me back to my original thought.  Cucumbers most certainly have a taste and it’s one most certainly that I avoid at all costs.

Technically-Challenged

Just ask Marya Piani, I don’t know much about our ever-changing technology.  She makes fun of me on-air every time I read a news story that deals with computers, I-phones, I-pods, HD Tv’s, etc….  Some of the time, I’m only playing like I don’t know anything about those things,  (it makes for better TV because they can all make fun of me and we all laugh about it).  Truth be told though, I know a little more than I let on.  Having said that, I still don’t own a computer.  I know I should…but I don’t.  I’ve lived my entire life without one and I’m just fine.  I know I should have one because of my kids, and for them, I know someday soon I will get one.  It’s an educational tool that they need and thats why I’ll soon have one.  Even though Marya will scoff at this, I can honestly say that I do know how to use a computer….after all….I’m writing this blog right?!?!?!?  

It may surprise many, but I’ve learned how to text message on my phone!!!  I feel so liberated!  See…I really am open to change.  Other than making and receiving calls though, that’s all I know how to do with my phone.  I know it probably does a lot more, but I’m just not ready.  As for everything else, Marya is right…….I know nothing.  I can’t work an I-pod, I don’t even know what an I-phone really is, and I don’t have HD TV.  I’m a very simple guy.  I really don’t feel like I need all that stuff.  My son makes fun of me because I don’t know how to play guitar-hero and I simply tell him what he already knows…….that I know how to play the GUITAR ITSELF……why should I waste my time with a simulation?   

Even though I get laughed at for not knowing a lot about our ever-changing ”techno” world….I really feel like I have the last laugh for living my life the way I always have and not having to cling to the latest ”I-thing” to keep me satisfied.    

Too Much Information

On Saturday I went to my first Diamondbacks game this season.  It’s odd that it took me a month to get to the ballpark, but then again, since I’m now a newscaster and not a sportscaster,  I guess it makes sense.  Of course I had to be there when the Mets came to town.  My beloved team ended up taking 2 of 3 from the Dbacks so it was a good weekend for me.  Ironically, I was at the game the Mets lost.  However I did get to see baseball’s best pitcher, Brandon Webb improve to 7-0.  The final on Saturday was 10-4.  Okay….this brings me to the point of this blog. 

The Diamondbacks new scoreboard is huge and very impressive………..but it is also TOO MUCH!!!  WAY TOO MUCH!!!!!  If you even try to read half of what’s up there, you’ll miss the entire at-bat of whoever is up.  Do I really need to know Augie Ojeda’s OPS and OBP along with every little little tidbit he’s accomplished since middle school????  No, I want to know his batting average and what he’s done in the game so far.  I’M AT THE GAME……PLEASE LET ME WATCH IT.  If I want to read, I’ll make a stop at the library afterwards. 

I’m serious about this, there’s more information on the screen than anything on the back of a baseball card.  There is so much information up there that Daron Sutton and Mark Grace could never get through it during 4 at-bats of a player, much less each given at-bat.  Saturday I was constantly telling my son to stop reading the scoreboard and watch the game.  I really can’t blame him though, you get drawn in reading the endless numbers and information when suddenly you hear the crack of the bat and realize you’ve missed something.  In my opinion, it takes away from the fan experience.    

I guess I’ll get used to it given time, as I did with the “sedona-red uniforms”, but the moral of the story for me is once again that more is not always better.  I imagine the fantasy baseball folks like all the information, but when you’re at the game, it’s not fantasy, it’s reality.  Baseball is meant to be watched, not read.

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April Fools!!!

Today is April 1st and as of right now (9:15am)….nobody has tried to play a joke on me yet. I’ve been had in the past though, and I’ve given out my share as well. Last year I had my son and nephew convinced for about a half-hour that I had decided to commit the cardinal sin in being a New York baseball fan. I told them I was switching from being a Mets fan to a Yankees fan. Of course that had to be a joke…(the biggest if you ask me).

Speaking of baseball April Fools Day pranks…..the all-time best had to be the April 1st edition of Sports Illustrated in 1985. George Plimpton broke the story of Hayden “Sidd” Finch, a young Buddhist, who could throw a baseball 168 MPH!!!!! Unhittable to even the greatest of all hitters. In fact, it was said at the time that his fastball make Nolan Ryan’s fastball look like a little league change-up. Finch was seen on the cover of the issue with one shoe on, long tan pants, a Mets jersey, his hat on backwards, throwing a pitch in the snow!!! The very long, odd article spoke of Finch’s unusual background and how the Mets found out about him and how they were trying to keep things very secretive. It detailed his pitching delivery which resembled a catapult. It was so well-written, it had to be true. It created such a buzz around the sportsworld that many Mets fans (like myself), were giddy. Many others said this had to be a hoax, nobody could throw a baseball at that speed. I, like others, just chalked it up to coincidence that the issue came out on April 1st.

The next issue on April 8th ended the speculation. Plimpton wrote that the Mets and Finch held a press conference down in Florida at spring training. Finch told the media he suddenly couldn’t find the strike zone anymore and decided to ditch his major league dream and concentrate on playing the French horn in the Himalayas. He simply waved goodbye to the assembled reporters and disappeared.

The joke was on me.

It’s Settled For Sir Paul

I can’t resist all the cliches…..”Can’t Buy Me Love”, “The Long and Winding Road”, “Things We Said Today”, “We Can Work It Out” etc…..all songs written by Paul McCartney in the 1960’s. Here in 2008, those words offer a different meaning to Sir Paul. The divorce settlement for he and his ex-wife Heather Mills has been handed down and the numbers are staggering. Mills gets 48 million dollars. Sounds like she won doesn’t it? Wrong! She wanted about 100 million. The judge saw things differently. Reportedly McCartney’s estate is worth about 1.6 billion dollars so that 48-million is a fraction of the former Beatle’s fortune. However its more than he wanted to pay. Its widely been reported that McCartney offered 25-million to Mills to settle out of court.

Mills is appealing, but not against the judgement. She’s appealing against the publication of all the sorted details of the settlement. Paul, on the other hand, is happy to have the public know exactly what was given and what was asked for. McCartney said only this upon leaving the courthouse, “All will be revealed.” (Sounds like the title of a new hit song).

McCartney was also ordered to pay 70,000 dollars a year in child support for the couple’s 4-year old daughter. Mills has been portrayed in a very negative light through the media since marrying the music icon. She has tried to improve her “approval-rating” but has been unable to do so. People can’t help but think she married McCartney for all the wrong reasons. Paul met Mills shortly after his wife of 29 years, Linda, died of breast cancer in 1998. Mills looked like Linda did when Paul married her in 1969. Friends said that’s where the similarities ceased. It was widely reported that one of Paul’s daughters, Stella, did not get along at all with Mills. It was also reported that shortly before their marriage, Paul threw Mills’ engagement ring out of a hotel window. Things just didn’t seem right from the beginning. Of course, all the monetary details would’ve been a moot point if Paul asked for a pre-nuptial agreement, but that’s just not Paul’s way….(that would be John’s way).

Now its all over for Paul and Heather…..lets just say he will now “Let It Be”. (see….I told you I couldn’t resist).

I’m A Yankee?!?!?!

How can this be???? I’ve spent my entire life hating the Yankees and now I’m one of them!?!?! You see, I’m a life-long Mets fan, so its just natural for me to despise that other baseball team from New York. That being said, I was informed a few weeks ago that the name of my son’s little league team was the Yankees. Suffice it to say, I was stunned by the news. (I know what you’re thinking…..and I believe the word is………..let me see…….oh yeah…..”immature”). I know, but I can’t help it. Those who really know me wouldn’t expect anything less.
Then I was asked to be a coach for the team. Yep….that’s right….I’m a coach for the YANKEES!!!!!! So every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday for the next 2 months, I’ll be wearing a Yankee shirt on a baseball field. We’ve played 4 games so far and I’m already breaking out in hives.

Right now, those of you who aren’t big New York baseball fans, think I’m a crazy person. You just don’t understand. I feel the need to explain. I became a Mets fan when I was 3 years old, just after they won the world series in 1969. My older brother was a Mets fan so I just followed in his footsteps. Then we recruited my little brother. By the mid-70’s, we were all one big happy New York Mets family.
UNTIL……my older brother decided to stop liking the Mets and switch to the Yankees. I still haven’t forgiven him for his lack of loyalty. Soon after, my little brother betrayed me as well. It made sense to them, the Yankees were on the rise and the Mets were going in the opposite direction.

I didn’t understand their logic at all. I held firm and my love for the Mets grew even stronger. To this day, one of my proudest accomplishments is that I didn’t give in to the peer pressure. Meantime, the Yankees won the world series in 1977 and 1978 and the Mets were horrible. I had to watch my brothers celebrate while my Mets lost over and over again. To make it even worse, because they outnumbered me, I had to watch the Met games on a black and white television in the basement while they watched the Yankee games on the color TV upstairs. When we moved from New York to Arizona in 1979, we all suffered because our beloved teams were across the country. I got the worst of it because the one major league game televised nationally each week was usually….you guessed it…a Yankee game.
Fast forward to 1986. The Yankees were horrible and………MY METS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!! I was a junior in college and I cried like a baby. My loyalty paid off and my love for the Mets grew even stronger, in fact, I’ve been living off that high for 22 years now. Which brings me back to my original point…….I’m now a Yankee. My family certainly gets a kick out of seeing me with that shirt on.

But you know what?!?! I’m certain that I’ll have the last laugh when the little league Yankees win the championship and then later in the year, the Mets once again win the world series. Funny thing is, I don’t know which team I’ll be more proud of.

Hey wait a minute…..I may be maturing after all.

Frank TV

During last years major league baseball playoffs, seemingly every commercial break had a promotion for a new television series on TBS called “Frank TV”. Even Frank himself got sick of the promos. The reason why TBS was promoting the show so heavily was they new what they had…..the sheer talent of Frank Caliendo. He puts Rich Little to shame. Caliendo is simply the best impressionist I’ve ever heard. He’s starting to gain quite a following and its much deserved. His spot-on imitations include John Madden, Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, George Bush, Charles Barkley, Bill Walton, Jim Rome, Jay Leno, Terry Bradshaw, Robin Williams, Jerry Seinfeld and David Letterman. Those are just a few of voices he does. Just go on “youtube” and watch any number of performances by Caliendo and you will be amazed.

He’s gained a lot of attention through the sports media having spent a lot of time on the NFL pregame shows, but his impressions go far beyond just sports celebrities. The interesting thing about Frank is that he spends a lot of time here in the Valley. In fact, he came by the station a few years back and did many of his impressions in our sports office. I remember thinking back then that this guy was incredible and it was just a matter of time before he got really famous. Now he’s getting there with his own show and his many performances on Letterman and Leno as well on the TNT NBA telecasts as well as his NFL appearances.

He’s probably most famous for his John Madden imitation….in fact I think he’s the first guy to ever “do” a Madden impersonation. As the story goes, John himself isn’t a fan, apparently, he doesn’t see the humor and talent. (He’s the only one).
I just saw Caliendo on Letterman recently and to watch Dave watch him is something I’d pay to see!!!

If you don’t know him yet….remember the name….but no doubt you’ll just remember all the voices.